maggi ayam

brighton beach | december 2015

I was missing my dad this week
and as I was making my *ehem* dinner tonight which was maggi ayam
I realise that I would kinda make it like how he did it before
he would always “upgrade” the maggi until it even looked better than the picture
added fishcake, some greens, onions/shallots and of course, the default egg
wham bam dinner’s ready mam (ok that was lame)
but so yum
MSG in the maggi must stand for Mmmmm Saahhh Gewwd (okay that was even more lame)
I am killing it tonight lah.

***
Whoa, mid-Jan already
yo Homie, mind pressing the ‘slow’ button for a wee bit there? (like I said, “killing it”)
I started to go to pilates recently
started meaning I’ve only been to two classes in total
and surprisingly I quite like it
it’s the kind of exercise where during the class itself, it feels so calming, you’re relaxed, stretching a bit over there and some over here
and you’re like alright, I can do diz
all is well in kellyville
and then you come back from the class all stretched out and super chill
till the next day, the pain hits you like a mudapaka (!)
all of a sudden, you are somewhat paralysed, mainly in the core area
and you feel like you have a “fake six pack” for a good 2 days
(I do like that feeling oddly)
so am starting to mix it up a bit with all them other classes
the second class though went something like this

instructor: *in a super zen voice* now bend your knees and make sure that your tailbone is sticking straight down
k: “say whaat”
*instructor comes over and fixes me*
k: oh.
instructor: now do this position
k: how the hellll am I gonna do that now – this.is.not.physically.possible.
instructor: now do this
k: alright alright getting the hang of diz (please don’t fart, please don’t fart)

ok I’ll stop there ha.

and cycling of course – 30 km is the record so far (wootz)

this year am gonna be abit selfish and just focus on me, the phd and the bo-d
#opkudan is a go go

also this song – *le chillz*

negative results

is probably the 3rd worst nightmare of a scientist
yeah sure, you have “results”
but they’re not ground-breaking or bubble-bursting
it’s like “hey, this didn’t work, so don’t do this”

I think dreams, although they are somewhat of an escape from reality
sometimes they feel so real you thought they were actually  the real dealio
which sucks especially when you’re about to eat this amazing yumyum and you are and it tastes amazing then you wake up ohsosuddenly and whambamthankyoumam
you’re in bed and wondering what time of the night it is

however what sucks even more
is when these dreams play on your heartstrings
I wouldn’t bore you with the details of this particular dream
but it felt so real, it’s ridiculous
I mean, RI.DI.CU.LOUS!
those butterflies
that heartbeat
(ye this is a cheesy post, deal with it ha)
that fuzzy warm feeling
and I realise how much I miss having those feelings
I mean, fo’ real, fo’ real.

oh well.

noted.

When a bird is alive, it eats ants. When the bird is dead, ants eat the bird. One tree makes a million match sticks. Only one match stick needed to burn a million trees. Time and Circumstance can change at any moment. Do not devalue or hurt anyone in life. You may be powerful this time, but remember: Time is more powerful than you. So be good and do good.
—  The Buddha

oops-a-datey

So updates.
Remember that Hsua Wen Hua hair treatment I tried?
Well it’ll be unfair for me to give you a fair assessment since I am hopeless in keeping to a beauty regime so since this tub has an expiry date (yeah I know, it’s made fresh, that’s why), I’d have to “up” my game and be a bit more disciplined
Upon first try, I did it overnight, it’s kinda the same to be honest
Maybe that’s why they asked to do it consistently over the course of 6 weeks (I think)
Till next time
maybe.

***
Okay, this year has been, hmm to put it in a simple word that encompasses all the twists and turns of this first half of the 2014 rollercoaster ride, it’ll be ‘interesting’
and maybe, ‘different’
okay that’s two words, but whatchu gonna do? 
I have had friends over, like 4 times and it has been such a ball to have them over and just catch up over old times (and new times of course)
I have done things which I never ever would even think of doing 
nothing bad, just out-of-character
I am the shyest person in a big crowd so I tend to just find a corner and pretend I’m part of the wallpaper or something (in 3D, wut? #lame)

During our weekly seminars, we’d have question time, so usually the PIs/postdocs that’d be the one who would ask all the questions.
If you know me well, I never ask questions in class, like ever.
I had a teacher once in college who didn’t like me, because I didn’t ask anything in class
(yeah, weird I know, I know)
So last week, I actually decided there and then that hey, I need to start somewhere
if I want to make a positive change about myself for myself, I need to get the frack out of that shell/ivory tower
so yeah, I asked a question
The build up to the actual question-asking was so so so silly weird
like I could actually feel my heart pumping (in slow motion), I felt like I could feel the blood just rushing through my veins and my palms got sweaty and all
(no over dramatisation here okay? I am that much of a scaredy cat)
But like a band-aid, ripped it and done
And to show how much of a big deal it was, my boss actually congratulated me (lol)
Popped that cherry yay!

Onwards now, no looking back 🙂

***

I am very curious as to what the second half of this year might bring
I’ve got quite a few things lined up 
like my first conference! super excited for that
I hope it’ll go okay (which it will, *monologue*)

***

last but not least, WORLD CUP
I miss the times where I’d watch with my family at home, we’d all be sitting in front of the telly, picking sides and just watch the game 
One of the memories I had was when I was 10 (I think) and the final was between France and Brazil in ’98, I was struggling to keep myself awake to see the whole game
Guess what? 
I fell asleep and woke up to Ricky Martin’s song lol
France won (I was for Brazil heh)
This year, as you may already know, unless you live underneath a giant rock, it’s in Brazil
and thus, the time difference SUCKS
there’s a game Germany vs Portugal tonight, which I’d love to watch but I don’t think I’ll manage
Sokay, ada app boleh la track kan?
and I’ll just watch the reruns
Boo.

damn, that was a long post
dah namanya update kan?
😉

3AW

Every now and then, I’ll meet a random stranger who I’ll have a short but meaningful conversation with.
A few days ago, he asked me the way to a radio station. I could tell he wasn’t familiar with the area so I told him I could walk with him over towards the right direction.
As how all random conversations usually start, we talked about the weather
It was a beautiful day that day, not too hot, not too cold, just right.
He told me how different the weather was a couple of weeks ago in London where it was oh so rainy and gloomy.
He later asked me what I was studying and I said, “Science, research.”
and he told me how he’s not so into those science-y/lab-by stuff since he’s a psychiatrist
I learned that he’s been in the field for more than 4 decades, specialising in schizophrenia and he also shared his thoughts on how he thinks schizophrenia is somehow linked to anorexia nervosa.
He wrote a paper about it and one thing that struck me is how he could remember the exact year that paper was published. I mean, I couldn’t even remember what I’ve written in this blog 2 months ago heh. 
He told me how people asked him, “Don’t you ever get burned out after so many years?”
And he said, “How can you ever get burned out?”
I thought about our conversation later during that day and realised that yeah, 
if you are truly passionate about something or anything at all, how can it ever burn you out? Sure, you’ll get tired or frustrated at times but these short-termed feelings just drive you to become even better that you were. 


” If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen for you, to you and because of you” – T. Alan Armstrong


Here’s to passion.