status:

seeking long-term calmness

edit: really do not appreciate having to do “paperwork” about your feelings after talking about your feelings – I mean, dafuk

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ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ ɴɪɴᴇ


By far my favourite pic of the 29th ❤
I was at the lab thesising away till late, came back home around 2 am and my sister stayed up to surprise me with a birthday cake stack she baked for me!
Seriously love that kid to bits 💎

In other news: thesis is still not done

Okay 1 week and we are gonna get shit donezo and gonezo 🙏🏼

almost

so these past few weeks have been challenging (in terms of getting this thesis done)
I mean, on paper it seems easy enough, write – edit – polish
rinse and repeat
that is all there is to it
but it’s just been so long and am just really fatigued and demotivated I suppose
I have to/need to change this mindset
failure only begins when you stop trying right? (cheezeh)

so am just gonna “do do do” (that’s what mum says)

and then she tells me to just pray for the best and that things are going to be okay

in the midst of all of this, I find myself feeling guilty for not being able to be there for the people around me as much as they need me and/or as much as I want to
and today one of my phd cohort-mates was saying that
“our minds are not free”
and it makes perfect sense
my mind is not free because I have this thesis hanging above my head the whole dang time

but as my other colleague puts it “gotta learn to love it”

so okay, day 1 of loving liking it

baby steps aitephd061417s