(no)vember

Can I just say, NOvember is here
how did all this time pass?
so I have only 30 days before the conference/solo trip by myself
I am stressed and excited at the same time
I’ve got a bagajillion things on my todolist
seriously, I need to clone myself

I am as my person coined it, stressxcited (hashtag that shiz)

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lists

I’m a list person
if I’m stressed/in a panic mode
I just start making a list
kinda like my brain’s MO for handling trauma
and in a way that’s how I organise my brain cells heh

a friend asked me recently what do I look for in a guy
side story: people have been asking me quite a bit about this
(is it my age? or is it the wedding season again? who knows je ne sais pas)
as every person has their checklist
I have mine too
pretty general and there are only three items on that list
and am not asking for the moon and the galaxies but
so far, nada.
pasal itula letak on backest of back burners cause it ain’t progressing anyways.
biarla it simmer till the end of time

that same person also asked me who my celebrity crushes were
1. the rock
2. drake
3. trevor noah

there is a trend kan? lols

my list for my FY grad school on the other hand is a longer one.
God help me (prayer hands)
another comment that I’ve gotten quite a bit 
is, “you seemed normal for someone being in grad school”
ah, this must be TBBT bringing on the misconceptions of people in grad school/research
sure there are super geniuses whose brains are just literally mind-blowing (ba dnk tss) but then there’s the y’know, outliers/wild cards like me
who just keeps swimming (and try not to drown in the midst of it all)

which reminds me 
back to work.

and this song is so appropriate right now because it is sunday, it is morning and it is raining (and kelly is laming)


gate

So one of my friends just submitted his thesis
and what lies next are just the corrections and graduation aka finish line
another one, is giving his oration this arvo which is pretty much the step before the writing & submission
I am beyond ecstatic for both of them 🙂
funny thing is,
this brought me right straight back to kindie
I remember this memory quite vividly
My friends and I were having recess time (because kindie was the tough life ha)
during recess we’ll get some sort of coloured drink in these mini tumblers
and got some form of this white fluffy bread
then we would go outside and play
one of our friends was visiting us and I remembered his name was Aaron
He just “graduated” from kindie and he was going to primary school – 1st grade
He was on the opposite side of the gate whereas we were on the other side
and I remembered my thoughts were
“I wonder how that feels like”
because he seemed at the time so grown up
whereas we were still doing kindie stuff

fast forward to present day
“I wonder how that feels like”
People telling me that “you’ll be fine” like a broken record
reassures me from time to time
but dang this is hard

BREATHE