“hey where are you?”
“what have you been up to?”
“what exactly are you doing?”
“bila nak balik?”

frequently asked questions I get from friends/family back home
to be honest, I can only answer 3 out of 4 
still not seeing light at the end of this tunnel yet
it feels weird,
constantly being in a whole another time zone as the others
like you’re lagging behind with the timeline of life, and at times
I feel like I need to catchup and I am just caught in limbo in this phase/time zone
and I am not just talking about relationships but other adulty things like buying your first car, investing in your first home, babies etc.
it is a case of FOMO for sure
but am I really  missing out
I have told myself (and others) one time too many, 
that “the right things will happen at the right time” 
which I do believe in (just sometimes I forget that heh)
I had a bad case of FOMO, but recently I have somewhat grown accustomed to simply being happy and blessed that I have reached where I am despite all the things that have happened
and that things will eventually fall into place

I wouldn’t want to lose myself in the midst of finding other things (if that makes sense)
and I guess having the time to also find myself in the process
you would think one would know themselves best seeing that they’ve only been that one person pretty much all their lives
only caveat that sometimes I feel we lose ourselves a little bit especially when we want to fit in (doing it unconsciously of course)
so try multiplying that by the number of years/people/places we’ve seen/been
that’s a lot to lose
I guess for some people, it is immensely necessary to have that time to develop their sense of individuality and to have that strength (power word lol) to be themselves when everybody around them is trying to fit into a mould
to be a cookie cutter person so to speak
so yes, no more a FOMO.


here’s wishing for the best for the second half of the year.


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