fangirl

something that I don’t do
or never ever have done
but I do in someways “research” and find out details about them
currently: trevor noah
I mean, this dude, is funny af, intelligent, witty and of course so adorbs
I’ve obviously regressed to being a teenager
and “research” I did – found out he has a MODEL girlfriend, who is hot. like hot hot.
his ex should also be a model because she too is hot squared
I don’t know why I do this though
What are the odds of me ever meeting with this person anyways (or any of the past I’ve “fangirled” about)
and to defy the law of the universe of the miniscule possibility of something happening (friendship etc.)

so Imma blame my hormones.
those crazy kids.

***
also, been missing dancing
like for realz
missing learning a choreo, worrying about casting and practicing to get into a gig etc.

so I’ve just been watching countless youtube choreo vids and this right hurr, is my fav at the mo’

that suh-wag.

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so

buat apa valentine’s day?

watching wedding videos by kudegraphy
seriously their videos are the bomb dot com
I was intro-ed to them by my best friend and every now and again I’ll go back to my fav ones and just rewatch it #livingvicariously
I think it’s really hard to actually capture moments and allowing other people to feel those moments through a video/picture
more often than not, videographers/photographers just pretty much capture stills of the event but not actual moments i.e. stills with emotions
and they do it really well
from the video composition to the music, shots and editing
damn son.
^this

v-day


now playing.
on a completely unrelated noteI’ve been walking down memory lane quite a bit lately (which is a very long road)but mainly on the fb from pictures that people have tagged of meand oh my, the fashion choices I’ve made in the past memang kena langgar lori berkali-kalifashion popo would’ve sent me to jail for lifeso for that reason I started decluttering my closet and just chucking things I would never wear anymore in this day and ageman, macam nightmarePor ejemplo, I have these 3/4s brown pants which were something like cargo pants from body glove and I looooooved themI’d wear them with this white and brown hoodie which matched my pants perfectly ha.and I’d wear a coloured singlet underneath and topped it off with these graffitied chucks (with of course coloured socks)I LEGIT thought I looked cool, walking with all that swag and shiz to lectures back at uniadoi obviously, kelly circa 2006 – 2009 was DELUSIONAL
such a late bloomer lah this flower.

5k

not moolahs, unfortunately
but kilometers
and that has been my target run/jog/jalk/wog per week
it ain’t much but it’s a start
from a person who does not run, I repeat, DOES NOT RUN
and when I have to run (i.e. when I’m late for whatever), I look like a dancing octopus
this was a feat at the start, of course
but it has been getting easier 
from the “I can’t breathe, my legs are jelly, I will rollover and die now”
to “I can do diz shiz” (after I can actually breathe again)

some thoughts pre and post run:
1. Alright, alright, alright (think Matthew Mcconnaughey), *puts on warpaint gym clothes* – you know how sometimes you’ve felt like not going to the gym, yknow malas-mode, seriously just putting them clothes on is a huuuuge motivation. I’ve gone through this much trouble to put them on – kayla I go, I go *drags feet*
2. I am not sure how one should look in gym clothes but this, does not feel like it
3. Okaydokay, let’s put the stuff away in the pigeonholes *dumdedum*. seriously, why do they call these holes, pigeonholes – it’s not even the size for a pigeon (I’m wasting brain RAM space for this)
4. Yay, my favourite treadmill is free. Look, not being choosy but this treadmill has the fans pointing to me (*ba dnk tss*) while running which is ace and so helpful when I’m a sweaty mess. Turn on le spotify playlist (gym jams)
5. Okay we are ready to rumble (or die) same same hahahaha
6. *starts first few strides* – still alive kelly, you can do this
7. 1k – OMG I can’t feel my legs already, maybe I’ll rest at the 2.5k mark (if I get there lols)
8. 2k – Okay, almost halfway boom (seriously, bagaimana people run 42 km is beyond me)
9. 3k – maybe I’ll stop it at 3k, I mean isn’t that 10k steps *slaps face* grow a pair
10. 4k – okayyyy one more k, leggo
11. 5k – finally *cue end of marathon song* 
12. Oh lookie here, I look like a sweaty mess, but woo just net off lunch 

The first time ever I ran a 5k, once I got off the treadmill, my legs were jelly – like I said, imagine a baby giraffe who is just born, trying to walk – yup that’s me. The next day, I was paralysed bottom down. But it’s been 4 weeks since I’ve started and it is much easier now. 

7.5k next?

some other thoughts I had in the gym
1. *looks at neighbouring treadmiller* weh, how in the world are you running 17 kph (looks at my 8kph) – you’re pretty much the same speed as me cycling (maybe even faster)
2. I should really try all these gym equipment *so many choices*
3. what in the world are YOU doing here? *looks at super fit person* you are done! finito! your transformation is complete! you can go forth and be hot.
4. ew why you no wipe down the machine
5. the stairmaster would be something that hell would have – the neverending stairs torture thingy

I should go to work.

hold up


I have a borderline obsession with this song and I think Arctic Monkeys did a bad-ass rendition of it.
***Random thoughts I had this week:
1. I really like walking – one thing that is lack back home is the ability to walk like, everywhere. I mean yeah sure, you could walk aimlessly in the countless malls we have back home but I find it is just not the same. 
2. As I’m walking I like to people watch – mainly looking at how a person dresses and such. And I realise that I thought-compliment people. Say I like a person’s shoes/dress/bag – I will be like “OMG GURL, where did you get that? it’s so pretty!” and I’d just say it in my mind while looking/staring at the person in hopes that the person hears me. not weird at all.
3. Summer is definitely my least favourite season – It’s just so hot and sometimes it can be humid af and my hair just turns into a poof. A legit, wild and uncontrollable poof.
4. I detest these smoke walkers especially the subspecies who can walk too fast for me to catch up. ugh you people. Also, mobile zombies. I mean, come on I am so sure that text or whatever could’ve waited until you are off the streets, away 4m the dangers of incoming traffic. aiyo. or maybe this is natural selection at work hahaha.
5. I am not sure how long I can keep all my long-distance relationships for. I guess in a way I am having an existential crisis? I mean I have been here forever and sure it’s been great but sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on things. If someone were to ask me “would you want to settle here” – I’d honestly say “I do not know”
6. I feel jiggly. and not the good kind of jiggly. Is there a good kind of being jiggly? I find it quite amusing and well, depressing at the same time that a number on the scale could either just make your day or completely, break your day. this jigglyness needs to go. I have put on 5 jigglies since 2014. mother….
7. I have a new appreciation for chia seeds. I made this chocolate chia pudding for brekkie this morning and thought it was probably one of the best brekkie I had ever (self puji much haha). The texture was like chocolate mousse, uh healthy breakfast tasting like a dessert? yes please.
8. If I was rollin’ and ballin’ with cash. I would spend it on beauty products. tech/gadgets and travelling – who needs a house kan? ha.
9. In about 5 months I would have been doing this for 3 years. three, friggin’ years. How in the world did that time just pass me by? This baffles me. 
10. It’s almost been a year, and it still feels weird talking about him to people.