honestly;

Sometimes, wait scratch that.
More like most of the time,
people would tiptoe around your feelings
around your vulnerabilities
around your self-esteem
and sure that’s all fine 
It’s fine when they manage to successfully do the full circle
and not hurt you in one form or another
what makes it not fine 
is when they accidentally trip
and blurt things out

So yes,
I’d personally rather have one to not tiptoe
What’s the point really hiding behind that facade?



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part I:

out of sight
and out of mind
cold blue stars and heart-shaped lines
forever feeling in disguise
or rather trapped in that ivory tower of mine?

in this rain, I am me
but in this pain, I am she
out of place
and out of time
where are those clocks that chime?



cookie monster

I think the best part of baking cookies
is the lick-the-mixing-whisks part 
after I’m all done with mixing the carefully (sometimes) measured ingredients together making a lovely, buttery, choc chippery concoction
I’ll scoop the cookie dough onto a baking sheet, chuck it in the oven, set the timer
and omnomnom the cookie dough from the whisks while waiting for le cookies to bake
(cringeworthy, I know)
and that’s reason numero uno why I must never be a pastry chef
I’ll be gobbling all the yumyums before it gets to the customers (heh)
and I’ll prolly look like a michelin man woman(double heh)
the second best part has to be scooping the cookies using the spatula and putting them onto a cooling rack
I don’t know, I guess it is a wee bit bizarre
but it gives me a buzz, the good kind
like “oh yeeees, my preeecious cookieeees are done”
now imagine that in a creepy, crazy, mad genius tone.

all weirdness and randomness aside, they are absolutely deeelightful 🙂

*this picture approximates how my cookies look like

yay, Friday is here!

"I’m too old for this shit"

seems to be what I say most of the time now

I think I’m growing old way faster than I would like it to be
I’d rather have a nice, quiet friday night at home
with a good book in one hand and some freshly-baked good in the other
I am also the makcik who prefers to sit down in concerts then having to squash and squeeze with the crowd
(hi, aren’t I the life of the party? haha)
Ironically, I am terrified of being all adult-ish
pfth, kinda too late for that now huh?
I find that age just creeps up on you
one minute you’re like a crazy-awkward-hormonal-moody teenager, then *poof*
you’re an adult; here’s your degree, go get a job and try to survive. try.
this ladies and gentlemen, is the Real Survivor
not some people thrown on an island who get like a 365-day holiday
they just need to eat whatever that doesn’t kill them
plus, they get to vote people off the island
(yay, more food)

I’m not saying that being an adult is all that bad
it just gets a little bit overwhelming at times
and I need to adjust my bearings more often than I care to admit.
I’ll say it’s a work in progress.
*on an entirely unrelated note, I think I’ve found the perfect graduation dress
not exactly what I had in mind, in terms of the style but oh gosh, definitely the right colour
(drools)
now I just need to work off those pounds
and gain more of the other type of pounds
mission in moh to the tion.