que sera sera

when I was little, one of my many, many dreams (or life missions lol) is to collect all the stray cats that I could find from the neighbourhood, bring them back home and take care and love every one of them. Oh yes, a cat sanctuary where all cats are welcomed!

I’d do that so the strays won’t have to find shelter every time it rains
or needing to find food whenever they’re hungry
or fall sick or feel left out
but of course it was a ridiculous idea/dream at the time
I was around 8 (rough estimate) with no job or enough duit raya to support them AND buy my barbie dolls
and obviously, not enough discipline and/or common sense heh
also me parents won’t let me bring 74 cats home with me (or let me wonder around the neigbourhood for that matter) 
hoyeah, I was, on a mission to be that awesome (not crazy!) cat lady/girl of my ‘hood
but whoopdeedoo, that dream soon died as many of them do
I guess that happens as we get older and see new shiny things

that got me thinking;
I am turning 23 this year (oh boy) and I should know for sure what I would be doing for the rest of my life right? sort of a rough plan or so they say in the ’10-year plan’ thingamajiggies
what was it again? 
oh right, get the paper, find a job, get married and make babies or something like that
so where does ‘doing what you love/find your calling’ come into this “plan”?
or does one just wing it as they go about life and by luck, they just bump into their Calling one day and say, “hey, took you long enough!” and become best buds.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to go about life without finding something that I really, truly love doing and can be absolutely devoted to it, something that I was born for (besides making the world a better place since 1988, HAHA), something I look forward to do, rather than dragging myself out of bed to do it and 
something that makes me, well ME.
One of my greatest fears is to go about life, without a direction and even if I do get some sort of bearings to what I’m doing, I won’t like it. At all.
I’ll just be doing it for the sake of doing it.

But I am happy and extremely grateful for where I’m at
I just think its not the last minutes of a movie, like there is a sequel
only difference is that the sequel would be epic (not lame like all the other movie sequels we see)
So what now?
Well, life is a treasure hunt 
I’ll give it my best in whatever I’m doing now but I’ll just keep on trying many new things along the way
and who knows,
I might just find the X that marks the spot.
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